Mom bullied at the beach for wearing a bikini

It was my friend’s first time in a bikini in 13 years. She was on the beach in Alberta, Canada with her two kids, relaxing under the sun when three people began to taunt her.

“It started with, ‘oh my god, look. Look! That’s f—— gross!’” Tanis Jex-Blake wrote in a private Facebook group we share. She opened her eyes to see what the commotion was to find two guys and a girl standing above her. They were talking about her body and specifically the stretch marks she’s earned for giving birth to five amazing kids.

My friend, a mom of 5, was taunted for wearing a bikini at the beach.

My friend, a mom of 5, was taunted for wearing a bikini at the beach.

Needless to say, my friend was crushed. Hours later she turned to our Facebook group that consists of moms who all had due dates of August 2007. She told us what happened, and shared her plan to post about it on Facebook.

Naturally, we were outraged. Not only that these three idiots hurt our friend, but because their behavior was disgusting. It showed a lack of knowledge and respect for women and our bodies and all of their beautiful shapes and sizes. How would they feel if someone did that to their mom? Or their sister?

It’s ridiculous that we’re so used to seeing picture perfect bodies on TV, the Internet and in magazines that we forget what real women’s bodies look like. Not to mention, thanks to photo editing, makeup and other tricks those women don’t even look like what’s depicted in the final product.

We’re starting to see more images in the public eye that reflect real women’s bodies. But we need more. Not to mention with all the hoopla over Hollywood’s latest baby bump, we need to celebrate all women whose bellies have been stretched to basically be studio apartments and whose breasts have nourished the previous tenants. It’s a beautiful reality of life.

Since Tanis put up her post,  she’s been overwhelmed by all of the positive feedback.

“I think it’s resonating with so many people, because all of us have been judged at some point in life, with by ourselves, people we know, or strangers,” she said. “And I’m sure every single person who has ever been bullied has thought ‘I should have said this, or I should have said that.’ Well, I did, albeit after the fact. Also, I’m just your average person, my body isn’t perfect, but it has done some amazing things.”

She’s even decided to team up with some other moms in her area to host a post-baby bikini sit-in to encourage moms to be proud of their bodies. I’m certainly proud of my girl. Tanis, keep on, keepin’ on.

Below is her original post:

“This is an open letter to the 2 guys and 1 girl who decided to skip work today in Sherwood Park where they were building a house, but instead decided to come to Alberta Beach to relax in the sun, enjoy the water and some beers.

I’m sorry if my first attempt at sun tanning in a bikini in public in 13 years “grossed you out”. I’m sorry that my stomach isn’t flat and tight. I’m sorry that my belly is covered in stretch marks. I’m NOT sorry that my body has housed, grown, protected, birthed and nurtured FIVE fabulous, healthy, intelligent and wonderful human beings. I’m sorry if my 33 year old, 125 lb body offended you so much that you felt that pointing, laughing, and pretending to kick me. But I’ll have you know that as I looked at your ‘perfect’ young bodies, I could only think to myself “what great and amazing feat has YOUR body done?”.

I’ll also have you know that I held my head high, unflinching as you mocked me, pretending that what you said and did had no effect on me; but I cried in the car on the drive home. Thanks for ruining my day. It’s people like you who make this world an ugly hateful place. I can’t help but feel sorry for the women who will one day bear your children and become “gross” in your eyes as their bodies change during the miraculous process of pregnancy. I can only hope that one day you’ll realize that my battle scars are something to be proud of, not ashamed of.”

This entry was posted in Appetizer for Life, Health and Beauty, Motherhood, Pregnancy and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Mom bullied at the beach for wearing a bikini

  1. Jenni says:

    Wow! That is an amazing story. I’m horrified at how mean people can be…but, her response goes to show you how great people can be as well.

    • sheswrite says:

      I agree. When she first told us, we were all, like wait, what? Did you know these people? Are you kidding me? We believed her completely, but were just stunned it happened. I am so proud of her and how she’s handling it. I hope that her post-baby sit-in has a big turnout. Talk about making lemonade out of lemons, right? Thanks for stopping by! :)

  2. Sonya D. Springfield says:

    Your friend’s stomach is not the true catalyst here. Instead, it’s the cruelty within the three individuals who stood over her, working very hard to feel better about themselves (because only shallow, insecure people who give unnecessary importance to the opinions of strangers say and do things like this). I applaud your friend for celebrating her post-baby beauty, and I hope she goes to the beach more. I hope she genuinely knows in the depth of her soul that it’s far better to be a human being than a doll, and I hope she recognizes that the souls of those who spoke to and stood over her contained the flaw, not her stomach.

    • sheswrite says:

      Thanks for your comment, if my friend didn’t know the depth of her soul, I’m sure after all of the outpouring of support she’s received, she knows it now. I can’t imagine how anyone could think, let alone say such horrible things to someone else. People have no shame.

  3. Annelie Molin says:

    Don’t worry about that. I am actually surprised you have not been to the beach in a bikini before.

    This way they talked to you tells more about them than it do about you Tanis Jex-Blake. It tell med that they are ignorant morons.

    Go swimming and sunbathing all with tummies. :)

  4. James Oliver says:

    Good for her. Some people are just really immature.

  5. Ali Lucas -Wilks says:

    I didn’t read that her children were with her at the time….which makes the behaviour of these ingrates even worse!! I wrote an open letter to Tanis to thank her for sharing her story.I will be going to the beach this weekend without shorts to cover my “imperfect” body: stretch marks, cellulite, spider veins also a result of my pregnancy with two beautiful daughters!

  6. john says:

    Ignore ignorant people like these….people who take others down are usually jealous or over compensating for their own short comings…please understand that most human beings do not share the views of these idiots….you are a beautiful woman and please don’t let it stop you from enjoying the beach in the future.. The rest of us think you look great in a bikini :)

    Regards,
    John

  7. Richard says:

    Tanis Jex-Blake: What a terrible thing to have happend to a mother. God Bless you and keep your chin up! I am sorry you have to experience things as this—it just shows that some people have no life, nor care about life! Do not be ashamed of anything about you-You are a beautiful woman and a perfect mother to your kids. Stay strong and to hell with those who are “jealous” of what you have!

  8. Theodore E. says:

    Terrible that there are those that would approach one and make such comments. This tale an open example of what is so prevalent in society, especially amongst girls. One has to wonder, however, if the contents of this ‘open letter’ were nothing more than a figment of the writers’ imagination. It’s known with the added ‘muffin top’, ‘battle scars’, etc., that women will feel inadequate to who/what they once were. The ‘open letter’ seems very self fulfilling, full of self pity. Amazing, no doubt, what a woman’s body can accomplish. Not so amazing is the fact that many ‘open letters’ turn out to be fabricated tales, simply built to fool & engage the public. This one is nothing more than that, a letter written to attract pity.

  9. Renske Hoekstra says:

    Hello I saw read about Tanis what happened. These people are a shame the life in Der Own coccoon . Tanis you are wunderful . It’ prowd of you. These people Will get Der problems . I fink the already have them . Tanis You are great.

  10. Karen kohn says:

    Don’t listien to those fools !! Your my hero for wearing a two pieace, I don’t have a perfect body with giving birth to five kids. Now that I see you wear one I might wear a bathing suit too.

  11. Maury says:

    Although I find stretch marks unattractive, I wouldn’t tell someone they look like crap. I am no Brad Pitt myself, and I am ok with that. If she wants to wear a bikini, good for her. I don’t have to like it or look at it. Posting your life on Facebook is just as disturbing. I don’t understand people that feel the need to go through life yelling “Look at me and look at what I did today”.
    No, I don’t have a Facebook page. Thanks for asking.

  12. marynne says:

    God so perfectly made a woman, Tanis’ body completed God’s plan and purpose for womanhood.
    See how beautiful you look !! having expelled all He deposited into that body, 5 wonderful humans.!!! you are too much!! 5!! i won’t be surprised if the woman who mocked you, have been emptying her gift of the womb in the doctor’s bucket!!!!. or stopping them from existing in the first place.You are a ‘every woman’ ,pride of mother hood. you look beautiful inside out i guess and that’s why the father of your gifts still adore you!!!!.
    CONGRATS

  13. Kathleen says:

    WOW! Unbelievable how people can be. I don’t which is worse~ the fact that her two children were there (I hope that they were out of ear shot), or that these three “ugly” people actually had the b#$% to speak aloud to her of their thoughts!

    I see nothing wrong whatsoever in the picture! In fact, a few weeks ago I brought my two beautiful children to the beach as well. I bit my tongue and wore a bikini! “GASP” It had been YEARS since I wore one. It was hard at first to take my shorts and shirt off, but I did. For the first 10 minutes or so, the only thing I could think of was how yucky my body was.
    But, I soon forgot to think about it because that day was the first day that my kids were old enough to play in the waves with, and teach them how to swim and body board. THAT became more important to me than what I looked like to others. I even had my friend take a picture of me to send to my husband, (he’s deployed).
    So……. thank you! I would love to do a bikini sit in with you, however, I live in NC, too far!

  14. amanda says:

    They were young, immature kids.. their opinions don’t matter.. they are still growing (as you can tell they actually have a lot of growing up to do) Stretch marks are beautiful. They will realize one day. You earned those stripes you tiger :) . I love that quote.

  15. Mitch says:

    be proud of your stripes because you’re they make you a tigress!!

  16. Lidia Barry says:

    OH STOP IT, REMEMBER OVERPOBLATION

  17. Kathryn says:

    The only thing missing are pictures of these nasty people who made these repulsive comments. What comes around, goes around. Thank you for your honesty in your letter. You are more beautiful now than before this incident. You showed a side of yourself most of us are afraid to show. You have given all of us an opening to be ourselves and not someone society says we should be. Your family, friends and all who have read about you are very proud of what you did for a lot of us!

  18. Anke, the Netherlands says:

    Be proud of yourself and your children. My son has scares because of a heartdisease. When people say bad things he knows that their problem is worse than his.

  19. Talynn says:

    I have much much to say on how I want to look up to talk on this topic. As being a teenage mother who’s body is being destroyed because of ulcerative colitis. Even though it was spiked to a terrible degree due to deliering my little girl I’m proud to say she’s mine! She the cutest little girl I’ve ever seen and so smart to with her red hair and blue eyes and pale skin! But as a teenager going to school with all these cruel girls is hard. I have to undress with these girls in PE this year and I’m super scared because every before I got pregnant these girls made fun of me for the dumbest things. It was hard but I managed. But now I’m so insecure about my body because I can’t lose weight die to my disease and the stretch marks are still there. I love those cute clothes and swimsuits that show some skin but I just can’t where anything unless it’s blan because I feel like I’m not pretty enough or skinny enough for it. And over all I’m just to shy now.
    Anyway I really wish I could be so proud like y’all are about y’all baby bodies. :) I hope I can bring myself to be secure in the topic.

  20. jean tabb says:

    If you think we all aren’t scared somehow when we give birth and have babies you are living in hollywood where plastic surgeons are multi millionaries or billionaires by now. It is a fact of life and motherhood. God bless us all

  21. Pingback: It’s not your job to police my body! | Dorristheloris

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