Have you ever made a mistake and then when you tried to dig yourself out of the hole you just made it worse? Me too.

It happens a lot actually, so let me tell you the latest faux pas. Basically, I was trying to find a picture of my red wall for a blog post. I couldn’t, so went to Hubby’s Facebook page because I thought he had a shot or two that I could download.

I’m on his page and instead of clicking “Photos” I must have hit “Friends.” Now, I’m not the type of wifey who stalks her husband’s page. I know, you have no reason to believe me, but I swear I’m not. Well, I suppose not until now.

I, however, will admit to being a FB stalker, but I mostly stalk my friends who are juggling so much that I find reading about them inspiring.

Anyway, the top person on the page was Jan*, his cousin’s wife who was very, very, very helpful to me during the craziness of our wedding.

What? Jan* and I aren’t yet friends on Facebook? How is that possible? Well, shoot, let me send her a friend request, I’d love to reconnect. As I’m clicking the “Add Friend” button, I thought: She sure does look different… Meh, it’s probably an Instagramed filter.

Why is there a sense of clarity that’s tied to the send button? Right after you hit send, you’re gobsmacked with a revelation?

My moment of clarity revealed that the reason the profile pic didn’t look like Jan was because it wasn’t Jan. It was Jane, Hubby’s ex-girlfriend.

Oh. My. God. I panicked. I went downstairs to tell my mother-in-law because I figured she knew Jane and would tell me not to worry, I wouldn’t look like a crazed and insecure wifey who stalks her Hubby and his friends.

But when I told my Mum, she just said: “Oh NO!” and a look of horror crossed her face. That’s when I really panicked. I flew upstairs to my computer and sent Jane a message:

Hi there! I’m sooo sorry that I just sent you that friend request. That must have been awkward to receive one from me. I swear I clicked on the wrong button, so no need to feel obligated to confirm me as a friend.

Then my panicked mind wondered if I sounded like a jerk by telling her not to confirm me. So I added:

However, that being said, if you wanted to confirm the request, that’s fine too. Have a great day!

Ugh. How uncool is that?

Since I was already uncomfortable, I decided to tell my Facebook family what I did. At the very least maybe my ridiculousness would brighten someone else’s day. And boy did it.

That status update elicited hilarious responses of similar epic fails, advice on when to shut up and how to rescind a friend request.

So we all waited… Would she accept?

Finally, I got my answer. She accepted and sent me a note:

No worries at all or any reason to feel awkward- I don’t! I could be a good future reference if you ever need info on a  Norwegian woman’s view on living in the USA or if you ever move to Norway.

So yeah, she was totally gracious, practical and kind, which is just like all the other Norwegians I know. Meanwhile I continue to uphold the stereotype of the crazy American.



Facebook Faux Pas: The accidental friend request — 4 Comments

  1. Ugh! You nailed that. The moment of clarity when you hit send. I hate that moment!

    My last moment of clarity actually happened after I got home from an event the other night and realized I had called the woman I was talking to the wrong name several times that night. I called her the name of another woman we both know. She didn’t correct me. I felt like an idiot when I got home and realized. It sure explained the funny look she gave me. Now she thinks I have no idea who she is, even though I do. I sent her a PM on facebook to acknowledge my mistake and blame it on a long day. I didn’t get a response back. So either she doesn’t know how to check a PM, or she read it and isn’t a responder but got a laugh out of it, or she thinks I’m a big flake and a fake who deserves to stew over my own stupidity. Ugh!

    I hope that helps.

    Stopping by from SITS. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Oh goodness. Well I just mistakenly added an ex whom I think is a bit of a sociopath (but in the best fake nice way ever) and I didn’t realize I’d done it until after he had accepted my friend request! Like REALLY! I DON’T GET IT!!!!!

    Now he’s sent me an email almost immediately and of course, is being all fakey nice and apologizing for not being in touch (as if I want him to be). Ugh i just want to go back to not being in touch, but will unfriending him make me look like a nut?

  3. I was lurking on a guy who works across from me, I see him nearly everyday. I clicked his profile, idk why…. I was busy and was holding my phone crazy. I look down, I blushed so hard. I accidentally hit request. I panicked, I didn’t cancel request!!!! I am hoping he didnt see and I can still do it.

    The problem I am having is, if I cancel he may know I was lurking. This is just uncomfortable.

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