Preparing My First Born for The Newer Model
Logan is your typical only child. We adore him and he loves being adored. He doesn’t have to share any of his toys, food or place in the home. Little does he know how much his world is about to be turned upside down.
Erica Lynn Hang Photography
With Bean’s arrival less than a month away, I’m wondering how well he’ll fare with a new kid in town. We’ve followed all the advice, and talked up what a wonderful thing it is to be a “BIG BROTHER.” We’ve discussed how he can help, emphasized that it’s *his* baby in my belly and we’ve given him children’s books on the greatness of being a big brother. We’ve brainwashed him as best as we can.
But I can’t help but think he’s still going to feel like last year’s model, a has-been of sorts. One of my co-workers, who has six grown kids, told me how her doctor once said that having a new sibling in the house is hard for young ones: “Imagine if your husband came home with a young blonde.”
Well said.
Hubby and I know it’ll be good for Logan to have a little brother or sister, I look at it as though we’re giving him a best friend, he just won’t realize it for at least a year. And it’ll be good for him not to always be the center of attention, nevertheless there will be growing pains. And those are what I dread.
Logan is an uber mama’s boy. (But really, can you blame him?) Already he gets jealous of time Hubby spends with me, saying “Daddy, don’t hug mommy.” Or while his chubby arms are wrapped tightly around my neck he’ll turn to Hubby and say “Go away! Leave us alone!” As my belly gets bigger I’ve noticed that he’s gotten even more clingy. It’ll definitely be an interesting transition since he’ll have to be with Hubby as I’ll be busy with Bean.
After Bean is born, we’ve got a plan for when Logan visits me in the hospital, the nurse can present him with his baby instead of him walking in the room and seeing mom cuddling with The Replacement. Also, Bean has already been collecting items for a spectacular gift basket for Logan.
As I said we’re about as prepared as we can be and honestly, I’m sure it’ll work out fine, I’m just trying to minimize some of the bumps in the road. What are some things you guys have done to make the transition a little easier?
Sounds like you’ve prepared him well. I think the rest is up to him.
My take is that it’s one of many life lessons. Life is hard. You can either make a friend, or pout. 🙂 You’ll help him through. He’ll cope, and learn to share — Mommy and all. And who knows. Maybe this one will be Daddy’s girl or boy. 🙂
You’re right, life is hard and no time like the present to learn it I suppose. And both Daddy and I are wishing that the next one is both a big fan of Daddy and has his temperament. Don’t think my household can hold three of me.
I am the second of 5 kids, and I really don’t remember the birth of any of my siblings as being traumatic. It was always fun to get a new sibling. There were just so many of us we had to adapt.
My youngest sister has a 7 year grab. When she came into the family it was especially fun. We were so excited for a new baby FINALLY!
It sounds like you have prepared your little one well. Good luck! Families are fun!
Visiting from Sits.
Five kids? That’s cool. My only sister is 8 years older than me, so I love the idea of big families. Good to know that you loved each time you got a sibling. My Hubby is four years older than his sister and he still tells stories of trying to get rid of her. He finally outgrew that, they became best friends and are still very close.
No chance it’s Twins??
Ha! Nope, I’m just huge that’s all. 😉
We got Mikey a “i’m a big brother” t-shirt and he came to the hospital w/ it on and brought a balloon for his new baby brother. once Owen came home, Mikey LOVED helping out by getting me a diaper, wipes, burp cloth, etc. When it was time to nurse Owen, I would have Mikey get me a book and I would read it to him so he didn’t feel ignored or left out while O was feeding.
Don’t you love the “Big Brother” wear? We’ve got a hat and three shirts for Logan. I’m hopeful that Logan is as happy and involved as Mikey, I know he already really likes being a helper at home and at school, so we’ll try to milk that personality trait as far as we can. 🙂
As a mother of three I can tell you that Logan will adjust fine. The idea of the Nurse presenting him the baby is GREAT!! A growing family is demanding, but as long as you make the time for the two of you alone he will be fine. Best wishes. 🙂
Lulu!!!!! Mother of three, wow girl. Crazy how much we’ve grown up over the years, yes? Thanks for the comment on my blog. You’re so right and I’m hopeful to have Mommy and Me dates with Logan to keep him feeling special.
Baby Girl was great when first came along. The first year was a breeze. It has been this second going on third that hasn’t been as easy. It is hard for her to understand that he gets away with a little more because he’s little and there are some things he can’t do yet. I’ve heard the “you love him more than me” thing several times, but we do our best to reassure her that isn’t the case, and depending on the dramasode when she yells it out she may even get a laugh from me followed by a “seriously?”
He’ll be fine. It is an adjustment, but then isn’t having a sibling always kind of an adjustment.
Aren’t *all* of life’s changes an adjustment? I’m not ready for the adjustment of being a mom of two. Yikes!!! I love your reaction to the dramasodes, we’re prone to those in our house too and it is like “really???”
I love reading your blog Melanie! You are such an excellent writer! 🙂
Eric was 9 years old when Emily was born, so he may have had a better understanding about the whole “big brother” thing. But we did the book thing too and in our case, incorporated his initials. It made him feel a connection to her before she arrived. Good luck to you – can’t wait to see Bean’s first pictures! 🙂
Thanks for the compliments on my blog, let me tell you, it’s a lot of fun to write! Incorporating the bigger brother’s name/initials in some of the materials is a good idea, very smart. I think anything that can help build the connection before baby is born is a great! Thanks again. 🙂
Mellie– Continuing to enjoy reading your blog…….. Much Love
I think kids know when they are loved even when there is a new baby getting affection and attention.
One thing I did for my oldest daughter was throw her a big sister party when Jonathan was born. We had a pinata and all the cousins did a little cheer congratulating her for becoming a big sister.
I don’t know if it helped her, but it sure was fun!
My kids are 5 years apart and the older one definitely gets jealous. Still, a much higher percent of the time I feel so good about giving them the gift of each other. Lots more love than jealousy!
Thanks for this post Mel. We are in the same boat as you, just it will be any day now that Finn will get to experience big brother hood. I am nervous for it, for him adjusting to being a big brother, and even more nervous for me trying to deal with an infant as well as helping him to adjust from this world that is totally him, to a house with a new infant crying. I am sure we will be able to share experiences and help each other through this new period. Much love.
Love these ideas! It sounds like you (and Logan) are getting well prepared for the big day. I’m not sure if Logan would be up for it, but I’ve also heard of big brothers picking out a special gift to give the baby.
Here’s a tip from my grandmother that might help out as both kids get older. She always gave those of us attending a birthday party a small gift as well. She thought it must be so hard for other young ones to sit there and watch one child open gift after gift. Apparently I summed it up quite nicely when I got a gift at a cousin’s birthday party and happily exclaimed, “I’s so lucky!” I never lived that one down, by the way. Best wishes!
Thanks! Such a great idea about the special gift for the baby. I think I put that on my To Do list earlier in the pregnancy, then as the clock whizzed away it seems to have sloughed off! Also, love grandma’s advice. Thanks for stopping by my blog.